A busy, crowded street on a very hot evening. Or should I call it a very busy market?
"Hawkers and other encroachments have made this once upon a time peaceful promenade a very busy place. In fact, it is only a shopping destination these days for all these youth who don't know what to do on weekends. Only a handful of us choose to have our evening walk here, that too purely out of habit. I've been walking here for the past 23 years. This street has lost its charm, I tell you! ...", the septuagenarian I met a few days ago lamented on with his almost practised speech.
I was seated at the Barista overseeing the street, with the day's daily in hand. There were several articles that day praising the economic growth this country was heading for... how we'd beat Germany in consumer spending soon and how we'd beat USA and China in X and Y etc. There was very little about scams, thankfully. This was before the outbreak of the 2G or wi-max diaries.
There was also this article about the government order to evacuate encroachments from some roads, to manage traffic better. This specific road was in that list of roads and there were also these views of local residents agreeing with it, which reminded me of the 70 year old thatha's statement. Ha ha, the road isn't going to be the paradise for walking and jogging, people - it is being cleared to ensure better traffic management, at the behest of the showrooms and other shops.
I looked at those hawker shops carefully for the first time, wondering if they knew what was coming, with questions like "Would they protest? Would they go in silence? Would they be silenced?" running through my mind. I saw a family of three - a man, his wife and a little girl - with huge purchases coming out of a showroom, all smiling. The girl was dragging one of her feet, and her mom told her something (of course, I couldn't hear that from that far, not even taking into account all that noise from the traffic). The girl then flung her slippers from her feet and got into a car parked nearby.
I'd never noticed before, but there was a cobbler's place nearby, almost hidden (like the leaky cauldron?) by the huge mall behind him and the jazzy, glittering side of roadside vendors selling rolex watches (yea, right) at 100 bucks a piece. As soon as the car merged with the rest of the traffic, the very old cobbler slowly walked to the platform, his struggle to walk without any support very visible. He took the slippers and went back to his place at the same pace, and started working on it happily. I smiled at the cobbler's 'fortune' and went back to reading the newspaper.
.
.
.
A while later, I was walking along the street to reach the bus stop at the end of it. That was when I saw a 5 year old girl begging in the middle of the street, amidst all the traffic. An auto almost hit her and the auto driver shouted at her to go out of the road. The girl cried, probably out of shock, leaning on the signpost at one end of the street. Just then, the cobbler cried out to her. The girl stared at him for a couple of seconds, wondering why, and then walked up to him. He handed out the pair of slippers he had just stitched and asked her to put them on instead of walking on bare feet in that heat. The child got very excited, put them on and happily jumped all her way along the platform, leaving the cobbler grinning from ear to ear.
I realized then, that the street, that had lost its 'charm' long ago, was also going to lose its heart soon.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Lights, Kung Fu, Action...
There he was, standing in front of me...the greatest living kung fu master. I did have a gun with me and started fitting the silencer to it hurriedly, but I knew he was better than that.
I had walked halfway back across a long pathway lit by a continuous tube-light embedded in the centre of the ceiling... I expected to find my way to the target at the end of this corridor...but there was nothing at the other end of this tunnel - a simple trap. I ran back but realised halfway back that Kao Peng was waiting for me near the entrance.
"Welcome to my humble abode", he said with a smile on his near-plastic face. His coolers were somewhat bigger than normal and like all masters from movies around the world, he was dressed in white. I knew I was done for. I had to avoid him today to have any chances of seeing tomorrow. But how?
He continued with a smile, "Do you know that if I walk out of this room and press that green button on the outside, you will be locked in for ever? No alarms, No signals, No essscape", with a hiss and a stress on the last word, "but of course, I want to talk to you."
Sometimes, I hate this job.
I had to talk to extend my duration of staying alive. "What do you want from me?"
He smiled as if it was a joke. "Do you, by any chance, know Kung Fu?"
I knew what he was thinking. "No. But why would you want to harm me? I just got lost."
"You got lost? Do you mean to say you are not T439?"
Now, did I have cyanide? Simpler way to die, I tell you. He started walking towards me, increasing his stride and speed with every step. He had that evil sadistic grin on his face that added a whole new dimension to the word 'fear'. I kept my finger on the trigger just in case and was waiting for an opportunity that I knew was not coming.
Within seconds, it seemed like Kao Peng was flying towards me. Strange...He did not even take out his sword yet. Did he think I was so bad a fighter or was he really that strong?
I waited without moving till he was about twenty feet away.
'Thud'. I shot at the tube-lights above me. Not only did the lights go out for the whole room but there was also some form of a gas that started filling the room. I dropped to the ground and rolled to a corner. Kao Peng continued flying in his path with his head towards where I stood and his legs behind him in a straight line as if he was swimming through air. When he reached where I stood (a second later), he somersault-ed in mid air and hit the ground with one of his legs. The floor cracked under his strength.
I took this moment as my chance and shot at him. His reaction was faster than the speed of the bullet; he moved forward, put a hand on the ground, swirled in air, kicked the gun out of my hand with one foot and landed his other foot on my hip, enough to send me flying across the room...all this, I guess, before the bullet from my gun reached the place where he was initially standing. I landed, bounced, rolled, hit the wall at both sides once before I finally stopped myself from rolling with great effort. Kao Peng dusted his white shirt and said, "Impressive", as he started walking balk towards me. I was spitting blood already. It hit me when I saw the external orange lighting brightening the floor on which I was vomitting blood... I was near the door!
With all my strength, which wasn't much, I threw myself to my right, fell outside the door, pushed up as much as I could and pressed the green switch. The door closed and in an instant, Kao Peng made a dent on the steel door. This noise would get someone's notice sooner or later, and I didn't want the monster outside till I left this darn place.
'Thud'. I shot the switch into pieces and walked away, wondering why my head ached more than my hip.
I had walked halfway back across a long pathway lit by a continuous tube-light embedded in the centre of the ceiling... I expected to find my way to the target at the end of this corridor...but there was nothing at the other end of this tunnel - a simple trap. I ran back but realised halfway back that Kao Peng was waiting for me near the entrance.
"Welcome to my humble abode", he said with a smile on his near-plastic face. His coolers were somewhat bigger than normal and like all masters from movies around the world, he was dressed in white. I knew I was done for. I had to avoid him today to have any chances of seeing tomorrow. But how?
He continued with a smile, "Do you know that if I walk out of this room and press that green button on the outside, you will be locked in for ever? No alarms, No signals, No essscape", with a hiss and a stress on the last word, "but of course, I want to talk to you."
Sometimes, I hate this job.
I had to talk to extend my duration of staying alive. "What do you want from me?"
He smiled as if it was a joke. "Do you, by any chance, know Kung Fu?"
I knew what he was thinking. "No. But why would you want to harm me? I just got lost."
"You got lost? Do you mean to say you are not T439?"
Now, did I have cyanide? Simpler way to die, I tell you. He started walking towards me, increasing his stride and speed with every step. He had that evil sadistic grin on his face that added a whole new dimension to the word 'fear'. I kept my finger on the trigger just in case and was waiting for an opportunity that I knew was not coming.
Within seconds, it seemed like Kao Peng was flying towards me. Strange...He did not even take out his sword yet. Did he think I was so bad a fighter or was he really that strong?
I waited without moving till he was about twenty feet away.
'Thud'. I shot at the tube-lights above me. Not only did the lights go out for the whole room but there was also some form of a gas that started filling the room. I dropped to the ground and rolled to a corner. Kao Peng continued flying in his path with his head towards where I stood and his legs behind him in a straight line as if he was swimming through air. When he reached where I stood (a second later), he somersault-ed in mid air and hit the ground with one of his legs. The floor cracked under his strength.
I took this moment as my chance and shot at him. His reaction was faster than the speed of the bullet; he moved forward, put a hand on the ground, swirled in air, kicked the gun out of my hand with one foot and landed his other foot on my hip, enough to send me flying across the room...all this, I guess, before the bullet from my gun reached the place where he was initially standing. I landed, bounced, rolled, hit the wall at both sides once before I finally stopped myself from rolling with great effort. Kao Peng dusted his white shirt and said, "Impressive", as he started walking balk towards me. I was spitting blood already. It hit me when I saw the external orange lighting brightening the floor on which I was vomitting blood... I was near the door!
With all my strength, which wasn't much, I threw myself to my right, fell outside the door, pushed up as much as I could and pressed the green switch. The door closed and in an instant, Kao Peng made a dent on the steel door. This noise would get someone's notice sooner or later, and I didn't want the monster outside till I left this darn place.
'Thud'. I shot the switch into pieces and walked away, wondering why my head ached more than my hip.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Simple dialogue, Complex reactions
It was raining so hard that day. Nothing was visible beyond a metre or if you were Superman, two metres.
Arjun was seated in his desk wondering if he could close out the stall earlier today because of the rains. But then, he couldn't go home because of the rains, so there was no point doing it. He checked, cross-checked and checked the finances for the day again. Everything was perfect. Sales had been pathetic in the last few days, but he didn't really care. After all, he was seated at the dairy stall at the gate of the biggest dairy in the state and they couldn't care less about the revenue from their single most insignificant stall. Why? Because this was in the middle of nowhere, usually frequented only by people visiting the dairy for business or those school kids who are brought here in the name of an 'excursion'.
Today, thanks to centimetres of rain, he had nothing to do.
"Hello" A voice out of nowhere scared him to death. There was a man in a dark raincoat at the counter, nearly camouflaged by rain.
"Milk."
A customer, after all.
"How many litres?"
"How many do you have?"
He was stunned by this cross-question. He continued, though.
"Immediately, (pausing for a moment) I have around..."
"No, no...", sounded like he was laughing a little. "...I was asking about the entire dairy"
"..." Stunned was certainly the word.
"You don't know?"
"Tho.. Thousands of litres, sir."
The stranger continued calmly."How many of it can you load into one of your lorries in the next ten minutes?"
"I really don't understand. This is not where you discuss big orders. You can..."
(Interrupting) "No no. Look here, I'll give you 1000 bucks. Can you give me 1000 litres in 20 minutes?"
Arjun felt that there was a sarcastic tone, there. Definitely.
"No, Sir. Half a litre costs 12 bucks. For 1000 rupees, you will get only around 83 litres."
"Sigh", he paused. "I am trying to save you 1000 bucks here with this transaction. Never mind."
"..."
"...and I'd leave for home, even in these rains, within the next twenty five minutes if I were you." ...and the guy turned around and walked.
Arjun kept looking at him as he faded into the rains at a distance.
Today, in spite of centimetres of rain, Arjun had a lot of things to do.
-The End, literally?-
NOTE: Off the top of my head. took 10 minutes. Don't expect even the regular poor quality. This should have been at the top of the post, you say?
Arjun was seated in his desk wondering if he could close out the stall earlier today because of the rains. But then, he couldn't go home because of the rains, so there was no point doing it. He checked, cross-checked and checked the finances for the day again. Everything was perfect. Sales had been pathetic in the last few days, but he didn't really care. After all, he was seated at the dairy stall at the gate of the biggest dairy in the state and they couldn't care less about the revenue from their single most insignificant stall. Why? Because this was in the middle of nowhere, usually frequented only by people visiting the dairy for business or those school kids who are brought here in the name of an 'excursion'.
Today, thanks to centimetres of rain, he had nothing to do.
"Hello" A voice out of nowhere scared him to death. There was a man in a dark raincoat at the counter, nearly camouflaged by rain.
A customer? in these rains? Probably not.
"Yes? What do you want?"
"Milk, probably"
"..."
"Yes? What do you want?"
"Milk, probably"
"..."
"Milk."
A customer, after all.
"How many litres?"
"How many do you have?"
He was stunned by this cross-question. He continued, though.
"Immediately, (pausing for a moment) I have around..."
"No, no...", sounded like he was laughing a little. "...I was asking about the entire dairy"
"..." Stunned was certainly the word.
"You don't know?"
"Tho.. Thousands of litres, sir."
The stranger continued calmly."How many of it can you load into one of your lorries in the next ten minutes?"
"I really don't understand. This is not where you discuss big orders. You can..."
(Interrupting) "No no. Look here, I'll give you 1000 bucks. Can you give me 1000 litres in 20 minutes?"
Arjun felt that there was a sarcastic tone, there. Definitely.
"No, Sir. Half a litre costs 12 bucks. For 1000 rupees, you will get only around 83 litres."
"Sigh", he paused. "I am trying to save you 1000 bucks here with this transaction. Never mind."
"..."
"...and I'd leave for home, even in these rains, within the next twenty five minutes if I were you." ...and the guy turned around and walked.
Arjun kept looking at him as he faded into the rains at a distance.
Today, in spite of centimetres of rain, Arjun had a lot of things to do.
-The End, literally?-
NOTE: Off the top of my head. took 10 minutes. Don't expect even the regular poor quality. This should have been at the top of the post, you say?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Valentine's Day
Aamir was lying on his bed, patiently looking at his gmail screen, with a hot cuppa tea in his hand. It was almost time. 'Work is definitely easier than this' he thought to himself. The afternoon's events were unfolding in his mind. It was two days to Valentine's day and one of his buddies at the workplace, Krishna, had arranged a big evening party at one of the best five star hotels in Bangalore as an auxillary treat for getting married to his childhood sweetheart in January. The bigger problem was that he had invited Aamir... and asked him to come with Alisha.
'No, I've to go to Coimbatore. I've got some work there', 'Dude, she is out of town', 'We are going away from Bangalore this time' were some of the dialogues Aamir had in mind to turn down Krishna's request; but ultimately, he blurted out, 'She doesn't like parties. I don't want to force her, please'. Krishna had convinced him it wouldn't be more of a party than a big buffet with light music (as opposed to heavy music) playing in the background. 'After all', Krishna said, 'We've never met or talked to Alisha! We would want to know who our best friend at office is going to marry, yes?' Aamir didn't know what to do; so, he just grinned, nodded and walked out.
He went straight to his room and wondered what to do. This was going to be embarrassing... not because Alisha didn't like parties, but because Aamir had never talked to Alisha either. Alisha was his classmate at college and Aamir was definitely in love with her, but what he did, that he now felt he shouldn't have, was lying to all his colleagues that Alisha was his girlfriend. Everybody at his workplace seemed to be committed and he didn't want to be left out. So, when Krishna found Alisha's pic in Aamir's wallet...
Krishna said, "Dude, Who is THIS? Doesn't look like your Dad or Mom to me!"
Aamir said, "Oh, that's Alisha." (shit, should have said another name)
Krishna: "Alisha who?"
Aamir: "My... My... classmate at college."
Krishna: (smiling widely) "And why is her photo in your half-torn wallet?"
Aamir: "I... I..."
Krishna: "Dude, you never told us about your girlfriend all these days! Great, man!" (shouts happily to the rest of the people in the room) "Guys, look what I found!"
Aamir: (Shit.)
-------
So, here he was, regretting every lie he told them from how he proposed to her to how they got in trouble with their families to how they are keeping things low for a while. Not to forget all the gifts he bought for himself and telling people, 'Oh, you don't know her! She keeps giving me something or the other'.
Sigh. Whatay tragedy his life was.
In reality, she was a classmate of his to whom he had never said anything except a very blushing 'Hi'. Both Aamir and Alisha were extroverts, but Aamir always managed to lose his voice in her presence. He never told his friends about this 'disease' though, and just cut out Alisha's pic from a class picture and kept it with him. She had added him in her gtalk list surprisingly, but not even that Hi had gone between them online. He had always remained in invisible mode whenever she was online, scared for some reason.
There were two ways out of the situation he got himself into. Feign sickness or urgency or breakup and keep away from the party (which he was most likely to do) and the second was to take this as an opportunity to make all his statements true. Looking at his screen, he knew he had nothing to lose by trying to talk to her. He could use February 14 to propose to her... or better, just invite her to the party as if they were going out for ever. After all, she was also in Bangalore. Over the years he had stalked(??) her, he learnt her every habit. In another few seconds, she would come online to talk to her brother in Georgia. In another few seconds... tick, tick, tick.
Nothing happened. In the next five minutes before she came online, he considered everything from faking an accident to getting into a real one. Then, like I mentioned in the previous sentence, she came online.
He moved his status from invisible to available. He hoped his life would also change from its current invisible mode. Aamir brought up all his courage and typed, "Hi". 'Should I press Enter?' He closed his eyes, prayed like never before for a few intense seconds and opened his eyes. Ta da, she wasn't online. 'Did she go offline because I came online?' 'Was it just a bloody accident?' He went invisible again, went to grab a glass of water and came back to find her online again. He mustered up his courage again and went online. Zap, she went offline again. He was sure now. He didn't want to disturb her if she didn't want to talk to him. He signed out and decided to feign a breakup after a brief crying session in the bathroom.
-------
Another chat window in gtalk, not very far away...
G: Hey Alisha
A: Hi G... How are you, girl... Wassup?
G: Ya good. So, temme, did ya find that Aamir guy from college? Know where he is?
A: No... I have his old email id, though. I am drafting a mail at the moment. Temme some nice words to make that idiot reply. And don't mind if I keep going offline. The power's freaking unstable here.
G: Ok ok.. Put in yar heart and type out a mail. Include yar phone number too. All the best dear! btw, he was kinda cute, wasn't he? :)
A: :)
A: Shut up.
Sent at 11:01 AM on Saturday
A: Oh, this is so embarrassing, G! He might not even remember me... and I'm gonna talk about love and all that. :( Sheesh. Am scared.
G: Awww, come on dear.
A: I think he won't remember me. :(
G: Just send it, Alisha... He sure will... Arjun told me he was nuts about ya back then.
A: What if he has a girlfriend now? :(
G: Who? That guy? Gimme a break! Send it before I come over and do it for ya.
A: I know!
Sent at 11:41 AM on Saturday
A: Okay, here goes nothing!
------
Like every other fairytale, Here's wishing Aamir and Alisha one great happily-ever-after life!
PS:
Happy St.Valentine's day to everybody!
Those of you like Aamir, say it to the girl, NOW.
For those like me who still wonder when things will happen, or worse, 'if' anything will happen at all, keep a hand on your heart and All iz well bolo, All izz well.
'No, I've to go to Coimbatore. I've got some work there', 'Dude, she is out of town', 'We are going away from Bangalore this time' were some of the dialogues Aamir had in mind to turn down Krishna's request; but ultimately, he blurted out, 'She doesn't like parties. I don't want to force her, please'. Krishna had convinced him it wouldn't be more of a party than a big buffet with light music (as opposed to heavy music) playing in the background. 'After all', Krishna said, 'We've never met or talked to Alisha! We would want to know who our best friend at office is going to marry, yes?' Aamir didn't know what to do; so, he just grinned, nodded and walked out.
He went straight to his room and wondered what to do. This was going to be embarrassing... not because Alisha didn't like parties, but because Aamir had never talked to Alisha either. Alisha was his classmate at college and Aamir was definitely in love with her, but what he did, that he now felt he shouldn't have, was lying to all his colleagues that Alisha was his girlfriend. Everybody at his workplace seemed to be committed and he didn't want to be left out. So, when Krishna found Alisha's pic in Aamir's wallet...
Krishna said, "Dude, Who is THIS? Doesn't look like your Dad or Mom to me!"
Aamir said, "Oh, that's Alisha." (shit, should have said another name)
Krishna: "Alisha who?"
Aamir: "My... My... classmate at college."
Krishna: (smiling widely) "And why is her photo in your half-torn wallet?"
Aamir: "I... I..."
Krishna: "Dude, you never told us about your girlfriend all these days! Great, man!" (shouts happily to the rest of the people in the room) "Guys, look what I found!"
Aamir: (Shit.)
-------
So, here he was, regretting every lie he told them from how he proposed to her to how they got in trouble with their families to how they are keeping things low for a while. Not to forget all the gifts he bought for himself and telling people, 'Oh, you don't know her! She keeps giving me something or the other'.
Sigh. Whatay tragedy his life was.
In reality, she was a classmate of his to whom he had never said anything except a very blushing 'Hi'. Both Aamir and Alisha were extroverts, but Aamir always managed to lose his voice in her presence. He never told his friends about this 'disease' though, and just cut out Alisha's pic from a class picture and kept it with him. She had added him in her gtalk list surprisingly, but not even that Hi had gone between them online. He had always remained in invisible mode whenever she was online, scared for some reason.
There were two ways out of the situation he got himself into. Feign sickness or urgency or breakup and keep away from the party (which he was most likely to do) and the second was to take this as an opportunity to make all his statements true. Looking at his screen, he knew he had nothing to lose by trying to talk to her. He could use February 14 to propose to her... or better, just invite her to the party as if they were going out for ever. After all, she was also in Bangalore. Over the years he had stalked(??) her, he learnt her every habit. In another few seconds, she would come online to talk to her brother in Georgia. In another few seconds... tick, tick, tick.
Nothing happened. In the next five minutes before she came online, he considered everything from faking an accident to getting into a real one. Then, like I mentioned in the previous sentence, she came online.
He moved his status from invisible to available. He hoped his life would also change from its current invisible mode. Aamir brought up all his courage and typed, "Hi". 'Should I press Enter?' He closed his eyes, prayed like never before for a few intense seconds and opened his eyes. Ta da, she wasn't online. 'Did she go offline because I came online?' 'Was it just a bloody accident?' He went invisible again, went to grab a glass of water and came back to find her online again. He mustered up his courage again and went online. Zap, she went offline again. He was sure now. He didn't want to disturb her if she didn't want to talk to him. He signed out and decided to feign a breakup after a brief crying session in the bathroom.
-------
Another chat window in gtalk, not very far away...
G: Hey Alisha
A: Hi G... How are you, girl... Wassup?
G: Ya good. So, temme, did ya find that Aamir guy from college? Know where he is?
A: No... I have his old email id, though. I am drafting a mail at the moment. Temme some nice words to make that idiot reply. And don't mind if I keep going offline. The power's freaking unstable here.
G: Ok ok.. Put in yar heart and type out a mail. Include yar phone number too. All the best dear! btw, he was kinda cute, wasn't he? :)
A: :)
A: Shut up.
Sent at 11:01 AM on Saturday
A: Oh, this is so embarrassing, G! He might not even remember me... and I'm gonna talk about love and all that. :( Sheesh. Am scared.
G: Awww, come on dear.
A: I think he won't remember me. :(
G: Just send it, Alisha... He sure will... Arjun told me he was nuts about ya back then.
A: What if he has a girlfriend now? :(
G: Who? That guy? Gimme a break! Send it before I come over and do it for ya.
A: I know!
Sent at 11:41 AM on Saturday
A: Okay, here goes nothing!
------
Like every other fairytale, Here's wishing Aamir and Alisha one great happily-ever-after life!
PS:
Happy St.Valentine's day to everybody!
Those of you like Aamir, say it to the girl, NOW.
For those like me who still wonder when things will happen, or worse, 'if' anything will happen at all, keep a hand on your heart and All iz well bolo, All izz well.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Nothing in particular
Scene 1.
It was a December night. The train started moving. I was on my way to Chennai from Bangalore. Got an Upper berth. Six of the remaining seven seats in the box were reserved by octogenarians and the seventh (middle berth) was empty. The list said that it would be a thirty year old man who'd get in at the next station. The old man who got the other upper berth didn't know what to do. None of the others could climb all the way up and people in nearby boxes had turned down his request of exchanging seats.
It took a few minutes to reach the next station and the much looked-forward to 30 yr old got in. He had one look at the old man, the empty upper berth and started shaking his head, "No no no no" and told the old man that booking the upper berth was not his concern in Kannada. Thatha (that's how we call very old people in Thamizh. means 'Grandpa') was thamizh but he guessed the content though. Thatha didn't push his request much because the guy looked dead tired.
The corresponding paati (grandma) was in lower berth and she asked him, "Enna naa solraan?" but he had no need to reply. The guy set up his berth and jumped on to it and switched the iPod on, clearly telling them he doesn't want to be disturbed. The thatha whispered something to paati and waged a battle with the holding rod to get to the upper berth. Slowly, but surely, he made it (though he needed a glass of water immediately).
Scene 2.
I had slept through that day and hence found it difficult to sleep. It must have been sometime over midnight. A guy walked into our cabin, checked his ticket with light from his mobile and woke the guy in the middle berth. 'Yeh tho mera seat hai...' he said.
The guy got confused. 'Arre what? The TTE has already checked. I've booked this till Chennai'. The new guy said, 'No sir. Yeh tho mera berth hai. See? S3, seat 5.' The middle berth madhavan didn't have much patience. 'Please. This is the only chance I've had to sleep in three days. Go check with the TTE. I've also got S3 seat 5 only.' The new guy was unfazed. 'Par yeh tho mera seat hai sir. I also have to sleep na? You're travelling in my ticket and are not even listening to me?', and he switched on the light. Finally, this guy looked into the ticket and said, 'Guru... This is yesterday's ticket.' The new guy was still for a couple of seconds, looked at his ticket once and said, '@#$% !' After saying sorry to the middle berth guy, he left.
Scene 3.
Must have been around four o clock in the morning. There was some external noise in my dreams. I realized I was dreaming and got up to see the thaatha halfway between the upper berth and the floor wondering where his next step should be. Before I realized what was happening, his feet slipped and almost fell. His hand was firmly on the holder so he was literally hanging there.He let go of his hand after a couple of seconds and managed to stand on the floor. I was sitting up by now, and he motioned a 'sorry for the noise' gesture. His face said he hurt something somewhere but he just walked towards the restroom.
I was sure he pulled some muscle somewhere, so was waiting for him to come back in case he needed help. He came back soon and knew that the Upper berth had won the war. He wasn't going up there again!
He woke the 30 year old and requested him to go up again. He gave that 'wtf' look and said, 'Your Chennai's just one hour away!.' 'I seem to have hurt myself coming down, sir. please, if you don't mind...', thatha said. The guy didn't know what to do and reluctantly picked up his bag and moved to the upper berth. The thatha happily slept in the middle berth covering himself from head to toe.
Scene 4.
5 10 AM. Chennai Central. It was still pretty much dark with only the mild yellow lights on.
The paati was up and packed. I was getting down from my berth when the paati was looking at the other upper berth nudging the 30 yr old with a stick, saying, 'Yen na, station vandudthu... Ezhundrungo...' The guy got up and looked around. I could see tears welling up in his near bright-red eyes as he sat upright and said, 'Please amma, Nange malgokke bidi. Pleasssee.' [Let me sleep. Please.]
---------------
PS: Not entirely true. - 'I' isn't me here. Not entirely my own - a partially true story
Special thanks to Vibha for the kannada translation :)
It was a December night. The train started moving. I was on my way to Chennai from Bangalore. Got an Upper berth. Six of the remaining seven seats in the box were reserved by octogenarians and the seventh (middle berth) was empty. The list said that it would be a thirty year old man who'd get in at the next station. The old man who got the other upper berth didn't know what to do. None of the others could climb all the way up and people in nearby boxes had turned down his request of exchanging seats.
It took a few minutes to reach the next station and the much looked-forward to 30 yr old got in. He had one look at the old man, the empty upper berth and started shaking his head, "No no no no" and told the old man that booking the upper berth was not his concern in Kannada. Thatha (that's how we call very old people in Thamizh. means 'Grandpa') was thamizh but he guessed the content though. Thatha didn't push his request much because the guy looked dead tired.
The corresponding paati (grandma) was in lower berth and she asked him, "Enna naa solraan?" but he had no need to reply. The guy set up his berth and jumped on to it and switched the iPod on, clearly telling them he doesn't want to be disturbed. The thatha whispered something to paati and waged a battle with the holding rod to get to the upper berth. Slowly, but surely, he made it (though he needed a glass of water immediately).
Scene 2.
I had slept through that day and hence found it difficult to sleep. It must have been sometime over midnight. A guy walked into our cabin, checked his ticket with light from his mobile and woke the guy in the middle berth. 'Yeh tho mera seat hai...' he said.
The guy got confused. 'Arre what? The TTE has already checked. I've booked this till Chennai'. The new guy said, 'No sir. Yeh tho mera berth hai. See? S3, seat 5.' The middle berth madhavan didn't have much patience. 'Please. This is the only chance I've had to sleep in three days. Go check with the TTE. I've also got S3 seat 5 only.' The new guy was unfazed. 'Par yeh tho mera seat hai sir. I also have to sleep na? You're travelling in my ticket and are not even listening to me?', and he switched on the light. Finally, this guy looked into the ticket and said, 'Guru... This is yesterday's ticket.' The new guy was still for a couple of seconds, looked at his ticket once and said, '@#$% !' After saying sorry to the middle berth guy, he left.
Scene 3.
Must have been around four o clock in the morning. There was some external noise in my dreams. I realized I was dreaming and got up to see the thaatha halfway between the upper berth and the floor wondering where his next step should be. Before I realized what was happening, his feet slipped and almost fell. His hand was firmly on the holder so he was literally hanging there.He let go of his hand after a couple of seconds and managed to stand on the floor. I was sitting up by now, and he motioned a 'sorry for the noise' gesture. His face said he hurt something somewhere but he just walked towards the restroom.
I was sure he pulled some muscle somewhere, so was waiting for him to come back in case he needed help. He came back soon and knew that the Upper berth had won the war. He wasn't going up there again!
He woke the 30 year old and requested him to go up again. He gave that 'wtf' look and said, 'Your Chennai's just one hour away!.' 'I seem to have hurt myself coming down, sir. please, if you don't mind...', thatha said. The guy didn't know what to do and reluctantly picked up his bag and moved to the upper berth. The thatha happily slept in the middle berth covering himself from head to toe.
Scene 4.
5 10 AM. Chennai Central. It was still pretty much dark with only the mild yellow lights on.
The paati was up and packed. I was getting down from my berth when the paati was looking at the other upper berth nudging the 30 yr old with a stick, saying, 'Yen na, station vandudthu... Ezhundrungo...' The guy got up and looked around. I could see tears welling up in his near bright-red eyes as he sat upright and said, 'Please amma, Nange malgokke bidi. Pleasssee.' [Let me sleep. Please.]
---------------
PS: Not entirely true. - 'I' isn't me here. Not entirely my own - a partially true story
Special thanks to Vibha for the kannada translation :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
College - oru Comedy - Episode 3 - Sikkitaan Suresh
Warning: Start from Episode 1
'Present Sir', 'Present Sir' andha kural reverberate agitu irundudu. Apapo dok dok nu eveno drum adikara sattham. BGM ivalo kevalama iruke nu nenachte irukum bodhu elunden. Kanavu. Oru 'present sir' la kavunditiye da Siva nu time pathen.
8 PM. Class mudinju room ku vandhu thoonginavan thaan. Kadhava evano thatraane nu elundu thoranden. Ramesh thaan. Thirumba poyi paduthen.
Ramesh oru aaru second wait panirupaan. 'Dei, enna achu nu keka matiya?'
'Kanavu nalaa irundudu. Continue pananum...'
'Machan, Saranya oda veliya ponen da.'
Kanavellam kalanju poachu.
'Dei!! Enna da solra? Iniku thaane da paatha?!'
'Adu apdi thaan da. ava edho day scholar aam, ondipudur la veedu. hope college nu oru edam poyi thaan bus eranumaam. apdiye kooda bus stop varaikm poitu vanden.'
'Bag thookitu poniyaa? cha, naanum enamo nu nenachten.'
'enna da kevala paduthita. veliya apdie elam soli vekaadha. nalaiku lunch extra eduthutu varenu solirkaa.'
'bag thooka ponavana vera epdi solradaam?'
'ava endha lunch enaku kuduthalum one-third unaku.'
Nee thaan da deivam.
'anga edavadu coffee shop pathiya?'
'Aama da. Tea stall.'
'Cha.'
'Oru bakery pathen da. Banumathi bakery.'
'Urupadiya edavadu solu.'
Romantic nu nenachu panni kutti madhri look vitute sonaan, 'Therialaye. naan avala thaan da pathen.'
'Hmmm. College edhirave oru periya hotel iruke, adhuku thaane pona?'
'Ilaye...'
'Nee pona Ramesh.'
(realising ) 'I am the likings this. Adu per enna da?'
'Andha day scholar ponna nalaiku ketuka.'
'Right' *ceiling ah paathute thalaye aatikittu mind la 'nam thana nam thana' *
'Aprom, inniku class la ece period irundudu la...'
Ramesh anda imagination lendu shock aagi veliya vandaan. 'nee thoongitu ila irundha? unaku epdi da theriyum? thoongara madri nadichtu class gavanichiya?'
'Ada cha. Un butthi enga poga pogudu. Edho ece nu kanavu nadula match eh aagama ketuchu. Seri, apo "present sir" nu oru ponnu azhaga sonaa da. Yaar nu pathiya?'
'Onnu solavaa? Class la irubathu ponnunga irundaanga. Elarum present sir thaan sonanga. Yaar azhaga sonanga, yaaru aalapanaiyoda sonanga nu elam naan gavanikala... Thookathulayum vidaama ipdi ponungala pathiye nenaikara rendu room mate da enaku. Cha. '
'Kandupidikaren.' nu naan enakulaye mind voice la solikiten.
Ramesh sutthi pathutu, 'Indha Suresh paya thaan double bed la first floor venum, first floor venumnu kadiya potu vaanginaan la. endha ^#%$*> ku keela bag vechaan?'
'Naan thaan da anga vechen. sorry da. Yen dhaan bed bed nu adichikaringalo? Enga paduthaa enna?'
'Adha vidu. Nee anga vecha na avanuku enga poachu arivu?'
'Avan thaan varave ilaye.'
'Dei. Anju maniku ponaan da Senior ah paaka... Time ippo ettu!!!'
------------------------
Kadhava thorandu Baggy ulla vandaan. 'Dei, Suresh enga? Inga thaane irukaan?'
'Ilaye da. avan senior ah paka ponaan 5 maniku' nu Ramesh sonaan.
'Yen, enna aachu?' nu keten.
'Avane thaan da, avane thaan!! Namma hostel maadi lendu paathaa Second year hostel maadi theryum. Anga evanayo round katti otitu irukanga nu oru gumbala mela koodi pathutu irundom. Thoorathulendu paaka ivana madriye irunduchu...'
Suresh kaalai la sona dialog enakkum Ramesh kum at a time mind la odichu. 'Evening sikkinaa overnight thaan di...'
------------------------
Go to Episode 4 Part 1
'Present Sir', 'Present Sir' andha kural reverberate agitu irundudu. Apapo dok dok nu eveno drum adikara sattham. BGM ivalo kevalama iruke nu nenachte irukum bodhu elunden. Kanavu. Oru 'present sir' la kavunditiye da Siva nu time pathen.
8 PM. Class mudinju room ku vandhu thoonginavan thaan. Kadhava evano thatraane nu elundu thoranden. Ramesh thaan. Thirumba poyi paduthen.
Ramesh oru aaru second wait panirupaan. 'Dei, enna achu nu keka matiya?'
'Kanavu nalaa irundudu. Continue pananum...'
'Machan, Saranya oda veliya ponen da.'
Kanavellam kalanju poachu.
'Dei!! Enna da solra? Iniku thaane da paatha?!'
'Adu apdi thaan da. ava edho day scholar aam, ondipudur la veedu. hope college nu oru edam poyi thaan bus eranumaam. apdiye kooda bus stop varaikm poitu vanden.'
'Bag thookitu poniyaa? cha, naanum enamo nu nenachten.'
'enna da kevala paduthita. veliya apdie elam soli vekaadha. nalaiku lunch extra eduthutu varenu solirkaa.'
'bag thooka ponavana vera epdi solradaam?'
'ava endha lunch enaku kuduthalum one-third unaku.'
Nee thaan da deivam.
'anga edavadu coffee shop pathiya?'
'Aama da. Tea stall.'
'Cha.'
'Oru bakery pathen da. Banumathi bakery.'
'Urupadiya edavadu solu.'
Romantic nu nenachu panni kutti madhri look vitute sonaan, 'Therialaye. naan avala thaan da pathen.'
'Hmmm. College edhirave oru periya hotel iruke, adhuku thaane pona?'
'Ilaye...'
'Nee pona Ramesh.'
(realising ) 'I am the likings this. Adu per enna da?'
'Andha day scholar ponna nalaiku ketuka.'
'Right' *ceiling ah paathute thalaye aatikittu mind la 'nam thana nam thana' *
'Aprom, inniku class la ece period irundudu la...'
Ramesh anda imagination lendu shock aagi veliya vandaan. 'nee thoongitu ila irundha? unaku epdi da theriyum? thoongara madri nadichtu class gavanichiya?'
'Ada cha. Un butthi enga poga pogudu. Edho ece nu kanavu nadula match eh aagama ketuchu. Seri, apo "present sir" nu oru ponnu azhaga sonaa da. Yaar nu pathiya?'
'Onnu solavaa? Class la irubathu ponnunga irundaanga. Elarum present sir thaan sonanga. Yaar azhaga sonanga, yaaru aalapanaiyoda sonanga nu elam naan gavanikala... Thookathulayum vidaama ipdi ponungala pathiye nenaikara rendu room mate da enaku. Cha. '
'Kandupidikaren.' nu naan enakulaye mind voice la solikiten.
Ramesh sutthi pathutu, 'Indha Suresh paya thaan double bed la first floor venum, first floor venumnu kadiya potu vaanginaan la. endha ^#%$*> ku keela bag vechaan?'
'Naan thaan da anga vechen. sorry da. Yen dhaan bed bed nu adichikaringalo? Enga paduthaa enna?'
'Adha vidu. Nee anga vecha na avanuku enga poachu arivu?'
'Avan thaan varave ilaye.'
'Dei. Anju maniku ponaan da Senior ah paaka... Time ippo ettu!!!'
------------------------
Kadhava thorandu Baggy ulla vandaan. 'Dei, Suresh enga? Inga thaane irukaan?'
'Ilaye da. avan senior ah paka ponaan 5 maniku' nu Ramesh sonaan.
'Yen, enna aachu?' nu keten.
'Avane thaan da, avane thaan!! Namma hostel maadi lendu paathaa Second year hostel maadi theryum. Anga evanayo round katti otitu irukanga nu oru gumbala mela koodi pathutu irundom. Thoorathulendu paaka ivana madriye irunduchu...'
Suresh kaalai la sona dialog enakkum Ramesh kum at a time mind la odichu. 'Evening sikkinaa overnight thaan di...'
------------------------
Go to Episode 4 Part 1
Thursday, January 28, 2010
College - oru Comedy - Episode 2 - First day class
WARNING: Start from Episode1
Baggy (Bhagirathan thaan, namma Suresh vecha short name Baggy), Paramu, Annamalai overnight nala friends aananga. Enga room la moonu perum 12th std madras la V.....school (known for all sorts of strictness) la mudichrundom. Ivanga school la pana rouse elam ketaa vaazhkai la romba miss pana oru feeling. Seri, ipo eduku adu? kadhai ku povom. Next day morning, moonu perum college ku kelambinom.
Me: Kandippa poi paathu than aganuma? First class poraduku munaadi koviluku povanga nu kelvipatruken. namma senior ah ya pakanum?
Suresh: Mooditu va. Ipo pona avangalum class poganum nu vituduvanga. Evening sikkina overnight thaan di.
Me: Aduvum seri than.
Ramesh: Ungala nenacha comedy ah iruku da.modha naale ipdiya sikkuvinga? naana irunda poyi Vijay style la 'naaaa'nu pammitu vandruven.
Enakum Sureshkum apo thaan andha idea thonuchu.
Me: machi, nee weight ah nadipa la. neeye poyi naan nu sollen.
Suresh: naanum adhan nenachen.
Oru second Ramesh engala paathan. Apo than enaku confidence koodichu.
Ramesh: Enna paatha ungaluku epdi theryudu?
Me: Nee pona nu vechika, avanuku vera oruthanache nu oru doubt irundute irukum. kadaisi varaikm confusion la vitruvanga.
Ramesh: Adiyei... Idhu varaikm Ghilli madri room la ye irundadu edukungara? ipdi sikkama iruka thaan. Ila na engalukum cooling glass potu alaya theriyada?
Suresh: Ivan oruthan epo paru Vijay Vijay nu...
Me: Neeye imagine pannu Ramesh. Girls hostel munadi. Ponnunga elam college pogara time...
Ramesh: Public ah maanam pogum.
Me: No. Famous agiduva.
Ramesh: Andha famous neenga agaradu.
Me: En mela avangaluku gaandu. Nee pona doubt la irupanga. adulayum nee style ah 'naa' pota na vituduvanga.
Five seconds yosichaan.
Ramesh: Enakkenamo idu seriya padala.
Five minutes later, Suresh and Ramesh roundana la irundanga. Main building oda backside varum. Kadhavu pakathula avanga bag oda wait panite thoorathula roundana la ena nadakudu nu pathutu irunden. Anga...
Senior1: Un peru ena sona? Yaru da ivan?
Suresh: Naa, en peru S.Suresh. Ivan peru R.Ramesh. Nethu odi ponavan.
Senior2: Apdiyaa? Paatha romba olliya irundane da nethu?
Ramesh: naa, naduvulainga pesaraduku sorry nga naa. Nethu romba bayandutenunga na. Ungaluku kovam vandrumo nu S.Suresh sonaaru na.
Senior1: Butti inda paya avana pachaya thitnada sonaan la?
Ramesh: Anna, avaru solradainga na nambidadhinga na. Indha romba padikara pasangale apdithanunga na. Naan 'endraa naaye' nu oru kovathula ketuputenunga na.manichirunga na. ungaluku pudikailanga na kandippa niruthipodurenga.
Senior2: Romba pammurane da.
Suresh: Romba nalavan na.
Senior1: (To Suresh) Nee saathu. (To Ramesh) Nee ipo enna pandra, irukara 5 section la yum endha ponnu irukaradu la ye azhagu nu paathtu vara. unaku iniku idhaan assignment. Olunga pana na butti ya naangale midhikarom. Aana mavane, yemathina... butti ya vitu un mela...
Ramesh: Aiyo ennanga na, namma senior ku idhu kooda panaama epdinga na. soltinga la. mudichdalam ga. Anni nga details elam edthutu vandudren na.
Senior3: Anni yaaa...
Ramesh: Ada annan aalu enakku anni thaanenga na. Enaku adutha varusham evalachu varuva na.
Senior1: (To Ramesh) Nee nadathu da nadathu. Endha section?
Suresh: Rendu perum A section than na.
Senior1: Anda class la yachu yar nu pathu vei iniku ok?
Ramesh: Seringa na.
Senior2: Apporam paaruppa Suresh, evening 5 o clock ipdi ka vaa. Konjam pesanum.
Suresh: Annaa... (Mind voice of earlier dialog: Evening sikkinaa overnight thaan di...)
Senior1: Enna da ? Ulaga maanadu iruko?
Suresh: Illa na, Varen na. Ok na.
Thoorathula,
Me: Success.
-------------------
Indha kalavarathula class ku late. physics vaathiyaar apdiye poitu second hour 9 30 ku vara solitaru. apdiye Ramesh ku help pana first row la elaa girls ah yum oru look viten. Sir adha paathu tholachitaaru. 'Centre boy' inum 5 mins anga irunda semester ke absent potuduven nu sona vudane moonu perum corridor end la irukara water-doctor ta poyi settle agitom.
Me: indha class la onnum therala. orey oru sumaar. idha venaa solidalam.
Ramesh: Edhu, third from door ah?
Me: yes...
Ramesh: thanks da. sikkaporadhu naan. unaku poyi help ku vanden paaru.
Suresh: Paramu vum namma class than paathiya?
Ramesh: De, evening sola sonangale. aduku idea kudupiya, ada vitutu...
Me: machi vettiya thaane irukom. Elaa class la yum ponunga first row thaan, onnu onna poyi paatha enna?
Ramesh: Excellent idea.
B section la oruthanayum kaanum. edho lab ku poitanga nu board la eludi irundudu. C section la oru thaarumaaru figure (prachothagam), D la naalu-anju figure and E la sila sumaar.
Suresh: (with aananda kanneer) Kadavulaa paathu senior vaayila apdi oru punishment koduka solirukaan da.
Ramesh: (janakaraj-aboorva sagotharargal style) No silly feelings. Kadamai la paasathuku edam koduka koodadu.
Soon... 9 30 AM.
Physics sir veliya ponaaru, naanga ulla ponom. Last row empty. Seri nu anga settle aanom. Second hour Maths. Oru sir vandaaru. Attendance edutharu. enga moonu perayum edho note panikitaru. Intro nu elaarayum edavadu sola sonaru. Kadasi la poruka mudiyama Ramesh ah nikka vechu oru kelvi ya ketaaru,
Sir: Adepdi da varushaa varusham Madras lendu moonu pasanga vandu first day ve last row la seat pudikiringa?
Ramesh: Vera seat kedaikala sir... Late ah vandhom...
Sir: kedacha munadi vandrupingalo?
Ramesh: Definite ah sir.
Avar chair eduthu first row la girls chair pakathula potaaru.
Sir: Vaanga sir. vandu inga ukaarunga. Ini inda scene podradu, class ku late ah varradhu, idelam pana ipdi thaan.
Ramesh sogamave mugatha vechitu note edthutu ponaan.
Suresh: Pudikadha madriye poraan patha la?
Me: aama da. innaa act!
Suresh: Aduthu indha aal class epo paaru? Kandipa ini late ah than varuven.
Class start aanapram pakathula irunda ponu ta pen ketu vaanginaan.
Suresh: avana kandippa namba kooda serka koodadu da. Naale nimishathu la nacchu nu enjoy pandraan paaru. Naayi, pena va pogaraduku munaadi enta yen kuduthaanu ipo thaane theriyudu...
Me: Vidu da. Avanaachu anubavikatum. Nee board ah paaru. First class.
Suresh: Ipo edho kekaraane. Penaa ku sharpener kekaraano? aiyo ava sirikkarale... Ennala mudiala da, ennala mudiala. School lendu andha naaye kadala podude... neeyo naano edavadu panirupama? mudiala da Siva, mudiala.
Ipadiye poachu.
--------------------
Afternoon lunch saptu mudhal la class ku vandhu centre row la centre moonu seat ah yum pudichu ukandom.
Suresh: (to Ramesh) naan adaye thaan soldren. en ta pesaadha.
Ramesh: Hey, what to do ya? Saranya only talked to me ya. She is not even that attractive da.
Me: Ipo eduku peter vidra?
Ramesh: Apdi elam ila you know...
Suresh: Adukulla Saranya va da... nadatharaane da Siva.
Ramesh: Adelaam ila da. Just friends.
Suresh: Adenna da 'just friends'? friend na avalo elakkarama pocho ungalukku? Indha kadala podara naadharigale ipdi thaan da.
Ramesh: De, ungalukaaga senior ta elam sikkiruken da. Ena da ipdi solringa?
Me: Aama da, aama da. Indha thadava manichu vitudalaam da. (Mind voice: apo thaan adutha thadavayum ivanaye use panalam)
Suresh: (Suddenly getting an idea) Seri, apo enakku Saranya intro thariya?
Ramesh: vandhu... She might not prefer that on the first day you know...
Naan saapta saapatla apdiye thoongiten. Half mayaka state la keta sila words. 'Suresh: andha mess la yum ivan vidaama thinnaan da. thoongama?', 'Prof: In this ECE class, we will study...', 'some girl: present sir', 'Prof: Shivashankar.S', 'Ramesh: De siva, nee thaan da pakki', 'Suresh: (changing voice) present sir'...
5 o clk hostel ku poganum nu elupi vitan Ramesh. Suresh already seniors ah paaka poirundaan.
Ramesh: Nee ipdiye Suresh bag edthutu hostel poidu. saranya wanted to tell me something. Ok?
First day classes over, engaluku andha class la Paramu va matum than theryum. Oh, Ramesh ku Saranya va yum theriyum.
Episode 3 here
Baggy (Bhagirathan thaan, namma Suresh vecha short name Baggy), Paramu, Annamalai overnight nala friends aananga. Enga room la moonu perum 12th std madras la V.....school (known for all sorts of strictness) la mudichrundom. Ivanga school la pana rouse elam ketaa vaazhkai la romba miss pana oru feeling. Seri, ipo eduku adu? kadhai ku povom. Next day morning, moonu perum college ku kelambinom.
Me: Kandippa poi paathu than aganuma? First class poraduku munaadi koviluku povanga nu kelvipatruken. namma senior ah ya pakanum?
Suresh: Mooditu va. Ipo pona avangalum class poganum nu vituduvanga. Evening sikkina overnight thaan di.
Me: Aduvum seri than.
Ramesh: Ungala nenacha comedy ah iruku da.modha naale ipdiya sikkuvinga? naana irunda poyi Vijay style la 'naaaa'nu pammitu vandruven.
Enakum Sureshkum apo thaan andha idea thonuchu.
Me: machi, nee weight ah nadipa la. neeye poyi naan nu sollen.
Suresh: naanum adhan nenachen.
Oru second Ramesh engala paathan. Apo than enaku confidence koodichu.
Ramesh: Enna paatha ungaluku epdi theryudu?
Me: Nee pona nu vechika, avanuku vera oruthanache nu oru doubt irundute irukum. kadaisi varaikm confusion la vitruvanga.
Ramesh: Adiyei... Idhu varaikm Ghilli madri room la ye irundadu edukungara? ipdi sikkama iruka thaan. Ila na engalukum cooling glass potu alaya theriyada?
Suresh: Ivan oruthan epo paru Vijay Vijay nu...
Me: Neeye imagine pannu Ramesh. Girls hostel munadi. Ponnunga elam college pogara time...
Ramesh: Public ah maanam pogum.
Me: No. Famous agiduva.
Ramesh: Andha famous neenga agaradu.
Me: En mela avangaluku gaandu. Nee pona doubt la irupanga. adulayum nee style ah 'naa' pota na vituduvanga.
Five seconds yosichaan.
Ramesh: Enakkenamo idu seriya padala.
Five minutes later, Suresh and Ramesh roundana la irundanga. Main building oda backside varum. Kadhavu pakathula avanga bag oda wait panite thoorathula roundana la ena nadakudu nu pathutu irunden. Anga...
Senior1: Un peru ena sona? Yaru da ivan?
Suresh: Naa, en peru S.Suresh. Ivan peru R.Ramesh. Nethu odi ponavan.
Senior2: Apdiyaa? Paatha romba olliya irundane da nethu?
Ramesh: naa, naduvulainga pesaraduku sorry nga naa. Nethu romba bayandutenunga na. Ungaluku kovam vandrumo nu S.Suresh sonaaru na.
Senior1: Butti inda paya avana pachaya thitnada sonaan la?
Ramesh: Anna, avaru solradainga na nambidadhinga na. Indha romba padikara pasangale apdithanunga na. Naan 'endraa naaye' nu oru kovathula ketuputenunga na.manichirunga na. ungaluku pudikailanga na kandippa niruthipodurenga.
Senior2: Romba pammurane da.
Suresh: Romba nalavan na.
Senior1: (To Suresh) Nee saathu. (To Ramesh) Nee ipo enna pandra, irukara 5 section la yum endha ponnu irukaradu la ye azhagu nu paathtu vara. unaku iniku idhaan assignment. Olunga pana na butti ya naangale midhikarom. Aana mavane, yemathina... butti ya vitu un mela...
Ramesh: Aiyo ennanga na, namma senior ku idhu kooda panaama epdinga na. soltinga la. mudichdalam ga. Anni nga details elam edthutu vandudren na.
Senior3: Anni yaaa...
Ramesh: Ada annan aalu enakku anni thaanenga na. Enaku adutha varusham evalachu varuva na.
Senior1: (To Ramesh) Nee nadathu da nadathu. Endha section?
Suresh: Rendu perum A section than na.
Senior1: Anda class la yachu yar nu pathu vei iniku ok?
Ramesh: Seringa na.
Senior2: Apporam paaruppa Suresh, evening 5 o clock ipdi ka vaa. Konjam pesanum.
Suresh: Annaa... (Mind voice of earlier dialog: Evening sikkinaa overnight thaan di...)
Senior1: Enna da ? Ulaga maanadu iruko?
Suresh: Illa na, Varen na. Ok na.
Thoorathula,
Me: Success.
-------------------
Indha kalavarathula class ku late. physics vaathiyaar apdiye poitu second hour 9 30 ku vara solitaru. apdiye Ramesh ku help pana first row la elaa girls ah yum oru look viten. Sir adha paathu tholachitaaru. 'Centre boy' inum 5 mins anga irunda semester ke absent potuduven nu sona vudane moonu perum corridor end la irukara water-doctor ta poyi settle agitom.
Me: indha class la onnum therala. orey oru sumaar. idha venaa solidalam.
Ramesh: Edhu, third from door ah?
Me: yes...
Ramesh: thanks da. sikkaporadhu naan. unaku poyi help ku vanden paaru.
Suresh: Paramu vum namma class than paathiya?
Ramesh: De, evening sola sonangale. aduku idea kudupiya, ada vitutu...
Me: machi vettiya thaane irukom. Elaa class la yum ponunga first row thaan, onnu onna poyi paatha enna?
Ramesh: Excellent idea.
B section la oruthanayum kaanum. edho lab ku poitanga nu board la eludi irundudu. C section la oru thaarumaaru figure (prachothagam), D la naalu-anju figure and E la sila sumaar.
Suresh: (with aananda kanneer) Kadavulaa paathu senior vaayila apdi oru punishment koduka solirukaan da.
Ramesh: (janakaraj-aboorva sagotharargal style) No silly feelings. Kadamai la paasathuku edam koduka koodadu.
Soon... 9 30 AM.
Physics sir veliya ponaaru, naanga ulla ponom. Last row empty. Seri nu anga settle aanom. Second hour Maths. Oru sir vandaaru. Attendance edutharu. enga moonu perayum edho note panikitaru. Intro nu elaarayum edavadu sola sonaru. Kadasi la poruka mudiyama Ramesh ah nikka vechu oru kelvi ya ketaaru,
Sir: Adepdi da varushaa varusham Madras lendu moonu pasanga vandu first day ve last row la seat pudikiringa?
Ramesh: Vera seat kedaikala sir... Late ah vandhom...
Sir: kedacha munadi vandrupingalo?
Ramesh: Definite ah sir.
Avar chair eduthu first row la girls chair pakathula potaaru.
Sir: Vaanga sir. vandu inga ukaarunga. Ini inda scene podradu, class ku late ah varradhu, idelam pana ipdi thaan.
Ramesh sogamave mugatha vechitu note edthutu ponaan.
Suresh: Pudikadha madriye poraan patha la?
Me: aama da. innaa act!
Suresh: Aduthu indha aal class epo paaru? Kandipa ini late ah than varuven.
Class start aanapram pakathula irunda ponu ta pen ketu vaanginaan.
Suresh: avana kandippa namba kooda serka koodadu da. Naale nimishathu la nacchu nu enjoy pandraan paaru. Naayi, pena va pogaraduku munaadi enta yen kuduthaanu ipo thaane theriyudu...
Me: Vidu da. Avanaachu anubavikatum. Nee board ah paaru. First class.
Suresh: Ipo edho kekaraane. Penaa ku sharpener kekaraano? aiyo ava sirikkarale... Ennala mudiala da, ennala mudiala. School lendu andha naaye kadala podude... neeyo naano edavadu panirupama? mudiala da Siva, mudiala.
Ipadiye poachu.
--------------------
Afternoon lunch saptu mudhal la class ku vandhu centre row la centre moonu seat ah yum pudichu ukandom.
Suresh: (to Ramesh) naan adaye thaan soldren. en ta pesaadha.
Ramesh: Hey, what to do ya? Saranya only talked to me ya. She is not even that attractive da.
Me: Ipo eduku peter vidra?
Ramesh: Apdi elam ila you know...
Suresh: Adukulla Saranya va da... nadatharaane da Siva.
Ramesh: Adelaam ila da. Just friends.
Suresh: Adenna da 'just friends'? friend na avalo elakkarama pocho ungalukku? Indha kadala podara naadharigale ipdi thaan da.
Ramesh: De, ungalukaaga senior ta elam sikkiruken da. Ena da ipdi solringa?
Me: Aama da, aama da. Indha thadava manichu vitudalaam da. (Mind voice: apo thaan adutha thadavayum ivanaye use panalam)
Suresh: (Suddenly getting an idea) Seri, apo enakku Saranya intro thariya?
Ramesh: vandhu... She might not prefer that on the first day you know...
Naan saapta saapatla apdiye thoongiten. Half mayaka state la keta sila words. 'Suresh: andha mess la yum ivan vidaama thinnaan da. thoongama?', 'Prof: In this ECE class, we will study...', 'some girl: present sir', 'Prof: Shivashankar.S', 'Ramesh: De siva, nee thaan da pakki', 'Suresh: (changing voice) present sir'...
5 o clk hostel ku poganum nu elupi vitan Ramesh. Suresh already seniors ah paaka poirundaan.
Ramesh: Nee ipdiye Suresh bag edthutu hostel poidu. saranya wanted to tell me something. Ok?
First day classes over, engaluku andha class la Paramu va matum than theryum. Oh, Ramesh ku Saranya va yum theriyum.
Episode 3 here
College - oru Comedy - Pilot Episode 1 (part 2)
Parts 2 and 3
Warning: read part 1 first
Location: Palani Hostel Room 111. First floor la centre room. Adhanga, namma room. 6 PM.
Naanum Suresh um room la enter aanom. Enaku kilinja shirt pocket. Avanuku shirt eh kilinjadu. Adu varaikm vittatha paathu paduthu kedanda Ramesh 'deeaaaiii' nu iluthu raagam paadi elundu ukkaandan.
Suresh enna paathu, 'College serndu karumam 6 hours thaan aagudu. Adukulla oru palla kaanom. Cha' nu veruthu sonaan. Naan avana pidichu room la irunda oru chair la ukara vechen. First floor eh kilinja sattai yaaru nu paka kooditu irundudu. Room ah close pani lock panitu naanum single bed la sarinjen.
Kanna moodina udane ramesh chuma ilaama sonaan, 'Ennada veladringala? neenga paata vandhu thoongaringa? Enna vitutu engayo godha la erangittu adha patthi solla kooda matingala?'
Suresh gaandaitaan. 'Pal ila nu kooda paaka maten. kadichu vechiruven' nu sonaan. adukapram enna aachu theriyadu. thoongiten. sorry. mayangiten.
9 PM.
Elundu ukaanda Ramesh biscuit packet vangi vechrundaan,
'Mess Idli weight da. Seri nu moonu perukum biscuit packet vangitu vanduten' nu sonaan. Suresh inum mayakathila irundaan.
'nala irundaa idli ye sapda vendyadu thaane?'
'Weight nu literal ah sonen.'
''
'Adha eduthu un thalai la ongi adicha uyir poidum. avalo weight.'
''
'Pinna enna da... Elupina kooda madikama rendu perukum apdi oru thookam? Ennaya kadha ketu pakathu room pasanga savadikaranga.'
'Seri, avangalayum koopdu. Yaar nu papom. Oreydiya solidalam. Aprom Suresh mugathla konjam thanni thelichu vidu. Mayakam theliyum.'
'Edhu Mayakamaaa?'
-------------------
Pakathu room pasanga Annamalai, Bhagirathan and Parameswaran. Parameswaran oor lendu varumbodhe 2 kilo bakkada elarukum edthutu vandurukan. Adula minjina rendu moonu piece ah thinnute naanum Suresh um kadha sollitrundom.
'Wow', adhu Ramesh, 'Girls hostel edhira maram, aduku keela oru bench. Romantic da.'
'Full ah kelu' nu sonen. Seri nu aarvama ketanga.
Suresh than kadha solitu irundan. 'Naanga rendu perum irundoma, apo 'excuse me' nu oru koral.'
Ramesh: mela solu.
Suresh: Paatha, adhu oru kanaadi pota kandraavi.
Ramesh: Ponnaa?
Suresh: Illa da. oru sodabutti paya.
Ramesh: Adhaana paathen. Neeyavadu, ponnungala yaavadu, thitradavadu...
Baghirathan um oru sodabutti.
Baghi: Ipo kanaadi potavanga mela unaku enna gaandu?
Suresh: Sorry brother. Elar mela elam ila. Andha aravekkaadu mela mattum thaan enakku total kaduppu. Continuing, college sernda anaiku Girls hostel ngara kovil edhira irukaradu kooda theriyama avan ena ketaan theryumaa? Aduku total Opposite direction la thoorama irunda building ah kaati adhaane main building, anga thana first year ku class edupanga nu ketaan.
Ramesh: Aravekkaadu noothula oru vaartha da.
Suresh: (acknowledge pannitu) aduku idho irukaane puniyavaan, vaaya vechitu chuma ilama ketta vaarthai la ye thititaan. kadiyaagi avanum poitaan.
Me: Control pana mudiyala da.
Ramesh: I can understand. But andha madri aarvakolaaru elam ketta vaartha pesinavan elam jenma edhiri nu suthuvanga. pathuka.
Baghi: Vidu vidu. Aprom?
Suresh: Aprom enna, apdiye andha classroom vecha building pakam poyi, naduvula irunda roundana la irundavan ta edo discussion nadathinaan. anga irunda naalu pera kootitu anda paya inga vandaan.
Paramu: Sodabutti um ah?
Suresh: Illa. avan angaye roundana pakam mutti potutrundaan. apove ushar aagirukanum.
Me: Andha ^#%$( edayo keezha potu kannu theriyama theditrundanu nenachen.
Bhagi: Seniors oh?
Me: Aama.
Suresh: Vandaanga. Oruthan en kan la irunda ray ban ah edthu potukitan.Inoruthan anda gap la oru ara vitaan.
Me: Naan immediate ah spot ah gaali pana pathen. Moonavadu irundavan en shirt pocket ah pudichan. Pocket la onum ila da paradesi nu mind la strike aachu. pichitu poiten. evanum thorathala.
Suresh: Avan size ah pathu orey oruthan pudika ponaan. Ess agitaan. enna moonu per valachitanga. Oru anju nimisham adichtu, first year epdi nadandukanum nu anda sodabutti ya pathu kathuka nu solitu marupadiyum poitanga.
Me: Aprom naan thaan avanga pogara varaikm olinju irundutu aprom ivana allitu vanden.
Suresh: thanks machi. aprom onnu sola maranduten. Unna naalaiku roundana ku kootitu vara sonanga.
Me: Ha ha.
Suresh: Serious ah.
Me: Dei.
Suresh: Illa na enna hostel pugundu adipenu solirukanga...
Me: Enna koduma sir idhu.
---
Episode 2 link
Warning: read part 1 first
Location: Palani Hostel Room 111. First floor la centre room. Adhanga, namma room. 6 PM.
Naanum Suresh um room la enter aanom. Enaku kilinja shirt pocket. Avanuku shirt eh kilinjadu. Adu varaikm vittatha paathu paduthu kedanda Ramesh 'deeaaaiii' nu iluthu raagam paadi elundu ukkaandan.
Suresh enna paathu, 'College serndu karumam 6 hours thaan aagudu. Adukulla oru palla kaanom. Cha' nu veruthu sonaan. Naan avana pidichu room la irunda oru chair la ukara vechen. First floor eh kilinja sattai yaaru nu paka kooditu irundudu. Room ah close pani lock panitu naanum single bed la sarinjen.
Kanna moodina udane ramesh chuma ilaama sonaan, 'Ennada veladringala? neenga paata vandhu thoongaringa? Enna vitutu engayo godha la erangittu adha patthi solla kooda matingala?'
Suresh gaandaitaan. 'Pal ila nu kooda paaka maten. kadichu vechiruven' nu sonaan. adukapram enna aachu theriyadu. thoongiten. sorry. mayangiten.
9 PM.
Elundu ukaanda Ramesh biscuit packet vangi vechrundaan,
'Mess Idli weight da. Seri nu moonu perukum biscuit packet vangitu vanduten' nu sonaan. Suresh inum mayakathila irundaan.
'nala irundaa idli ye sapda vendyadu thaane?'
'Weight nu literal ah sonen.'
''
'Adha eduthu un thalai la ongi adicha uyir poidum. avalo weight.'
''
'Pinna enna da... Elupina kooda madikama rendu perukum apdi oru thookam? Ennaya kadha ketu pakathu room pasanga savadikaranga.'
'Seri, avangalayum koopdu. Yaar nu papom. Oreydiya solidalam. Aprom Suresh mugathla konjam thanni thelichu vidu. Mayakam theliyum.'
'Edhu Mayakamaaa?'
-------------------
Pakathu room pasanga Annamalai, Bhagirathan and Parameswaran. Parameswaran oor lendu varumbodhe 2 kilo bakkada elarukum edthutu vandurukan. Adula minjina rendu moonu piece ah thinnute naanum Suresh um kadha sollitrundom.
'Wow', adhu Ramesh, 'Girls hostel edhira maram, aduku keela oru bench. Romantic da.'
'Full ah kelu' nu sonen. Seri nu aarvama ketanga.
Suresh than kadha solitu irundan. 'Naanga rendu perum irundoma, apo 'excuse me' nu oru koral.'
Ramesh: mela solu.
Suresh: Paatha, adhu oru kanaadi pota kandraavi.
Ramesh: Ponnaa?
Suresh: Illa da. oru sodabutti paya.
Ramesh: Adhaana paathen. Neeyavadu, ponnungala yaavadu, thitradavadu...
Baghirathan um oru sodabutti.
Baghi: Ipo kanaadi potavanga mela unaku enna gaandu?
Suresh: Sorry brother. Elar mela elam ila. Andha aravekkaadu mela mattum thaan enakku total kaduppu. Continuing, college sernda anaiku Girls hostel ngara kovil edhira irukaradu kooda theriyama avan ena ketaan theryumaa? Aduku total Opposite direction la thoorama irunda building ah kaati adhaane main building, anga thana first year ku class edupanga nu ketaan.
Ramesh: Aravekkaadu noothula oru vaartha da.
Suresh: (acknowledge pannitu) aduku idho irukaane puniyavaan, vaaya vechitu chuma ilama ketta vaarthai la ye thititaan. kadiyaagi avanum poitaan.
Me: Control pana mudiyala da.
Ramesh: I can understand. But andha madri aarvakolaaru elam ketta vaartha pesinavan elam jenma edhiri nu suthuvanga. pathuka.
Baghi: Vidu vidu. Aprom?
Suresh: Aprom enna, apdiye andha classroom vecha building pakam poyi, naduvula irunda roundana la irundavan ta edo discussion nadathinaan. anga irunda naalu pera kootitu anda paya inga vandaan.
Paramu: Sodabutti um ah?
Suresh: Illa. avan angaye roundana pakam mutti potutrundaan. apove ushar aagirukanum.
Me: Andha ^#%$( edayo keezha potu kannu theriyama theditrundanu nenachen.
Bhagi: Seniors oh?
Me: Aama.
Suresh: Vandaanga. Oruthan en kan la irunda ray ban ah edthu potukitan.Inoruthan anda gap la oru ara vitaan.
Me: Naan immediate ah spot ah gaali pana pathen. Moonavadu irundavan en shirt pocket ah pudichan. Pocket la onum ila da paradesi nu mind la strike aachu. pichitu poiten. evanum thorathala.
Suresh: Avan size ah pathu orey oruthan pudika ponaan. Ess agitaan. enna moonu per valachitanga. Oru anju nimisham adichtu, first year epdi nadandukanum nu anda sodabutti ya pathu kathuka nu solitu marupadiyum poitanga.
Me: Aprom naan thaan avanga pogara varaikm olinju irundutu aprom ivana allitu vanden.
Suresh: thanks machi. aprom onnu sola maranduten. Unna naalaiku roundana ku kootitu vara sonanga.
Me: Ha ha.
Suresh: Serious ah.
Me: Dei.
Suresh: Illa na enna hostel pugundu adipenu solirukanga...
Me: Enna koduma sir idhu.
---
Episode 2 link
College - oru Comedy - Pilot Episode (part 1)
- A totally imaginary serial(many posts coming up) experience you can (hopefully) relate to. Proceed if you understand thamizh (tamil). First person narration purely a matter of storytelling and does not mean it relates to me.
Adu oru Social network illaada kaalam.
'CIT kedachruku machi. Range brand name. School thaan oru waste ah poachu. College la paaru, epdi kalakaren nu.coimbatore
Avan apovey sonaan. Adukkelaam oru macham venum da Siva nu. Aana andha time, en nambikai aarvathula dance aadina kaalam. Avana nambaama vaazhkai la ye podaada cooling glasselam
'CIT kedachruku machi. Range brand name. School thaan oru waste ah poachu. College la paaru, epdi kalakaren nu.
Avan apovey sonaan. Adukkelaam oru macham venum da Siva nu. Aana andha time, en nambikai aarvathula dance aadina kaalam. Avana nambaama vaazhkai la ye podaada cooling glass
School la kooda padicha rendu pasanga than room mates. ‘Hostel la yen da cooling glass ah potu savadikara?’ nu Ramesh(one room mate) ketaan. ‘Inime appadi thaan’ nu nayagan madri dialog vitutu girls hostel enda pakam nu pakalam nu yartayum solama kelambinen. Oru direction ah paathu nadanden. Onnu ragging irukaa ilaya nu theriyala. Rendu indha pakam ponaa than warden office. Kandipa seniors yarum iruka matanga. Moonu cooling glass potutu poitrunden. Mind voice la ‘kandukondaen kandukondaen’.
Apdiye ponaa ponunga density adhigama irukara oru area vandudu. Oru gate. Aduku oru watchman. Thaandina rendu building. College ku ularaye gate pota adhu girls hostel ah thaan irukum nu mudivu panen. Anga ukaandu site adika location iruka nu apdiye paathaa, pakka location. Oru maram. Aduku keela park la
‘Vaa da machi. Nee varalaye nu than paathen’ nu thalli ukaandan. Avan potutrundadu ray-ban glass. En mokka cooler mottha value eh 30 Rs thaan. First velayaa adha kalatti pant pocket la potutu avan pakathula settle aanen.
Episode 1 Part 2 here
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