Valentine's Day

Aamir was lying on his bed, patiently looking at his gmail screen, with a hot cuppa tea in his hand. It was almost time. 'Work is definitely easier than this' he thought to himself. The afternoon's events were unfolding in his mind. It was two days to Valentine's day and one of his buddies at the workplace, Krishna, had arranged a big evening party at one of the best five star hotels in Bangalore as an auxillary treat for getting married to his childhood sweetheart in January. The bigger problem was that he had invited Aamir... and asked him to come with Alisha.

'No, I've to go to Coimbatore. I've got some work there', 'Dude, she is out of town', 'We are going away from Bangalore this time' were some of the dialogues Aamir had in mind to turn down Krishna's request; but ultimately, he blurted out, 'She doesn't like parties. I don't want to force her, please'. Krishna had convinced him it wouldn't be more of a party than a big buffet with light music (as opposed to heavy music) playing in the background. 'After all', Krishna said, 'We've never met or talked to Alisha! We would want to know who our best friend at office is going to marry, yes?' Aamir didn't know what to do; so, he just grinned, nodded and walked out.

He went straight to his room and wondered what to do. This was going to be embarrassing... not because Alisha didn't like parties, but because Aamir had never talked to Alisha either. Alisha was his classmate at college and Aamir was definitely in love with her, but what he did, that he now felt he shouldn't have, was lying to all his colleagues that Alisha was his girlfriend. Everybody at his workplace seemed to be committed and he didn't want to be left out. So, when Krishna found Alisha's pic in Aamir's wallet...

Krishna said, "Dude, Who is THIS? Doesn't look like your Dad or Mom to me!"

Aamir said, "Oh, that's Alisha." (shit, should have said another name)

Krishna: "Alisha who?"

Aamir: "My... My... classmate at college."

Krishna: (smiling widely) "And why is her photo in your half-torn wallet?"

Aamir: "I... I..."

Krishna: "Dude, you never told us about your girlfriend all these days! Great, man!" (shouts happily to the rest of the people in the room) "Guys, look what I found!"

Aamir: (Shit.)

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So, here he was, regretting every lie he told them from how he proposed to her to how they got in trouble with their families to how they are keeping things low for a while. Not to forget all the gifts he bought for himself and telling people, 'Oh, you don't know her! She keeps giving me something or the other'.

Sigh. Whatay tragedy his life was.

In reality, she was a classmate of his to whom he had never said anything except a very blushing 'Hi'. Both Aamir and Alisha were extroverts, but Aamir always managed to lose his voice in her presence. He never told his friends about this 'disease' though, and just cut out Alisha's pic from a class picture and kept it with him. She had added him in her gtalk list surprisingly, but not even that Hi had gone between them online. He had always remained in invisible mode whenever she was online, scared for some reason.

There were two ways out of the situation he got himself into. Feign sickness or urgency or breakup and keep away from the party (which he was most likely to do) and the second was to take this as an opportunity to make all his statements true. Looking at his screen, he knew he had nothing to lose by trying to talk to her. He could use February 14 to propose to her... or better, just invite her to the party as if they were going out for ever. After all, she was also in Bangalore. Over the years he had stalked(??) her, he learnt her every habit. In another few seconds, she would come online to talk to her brother in Georgia. In another few seconds... tick, tick, tick.

Nothing happened. In the next five minutes before she came online, he considered everything from faking an accident to getting into a real one. Then, like I mentioned in the previous sentence, she came online.

He moved his status from invisible to available. He hoped his life would also change from its current invisible mode. Aamir brought up all his courage and typed, "Hi". 'Should I press Enter?' He closed his eyes, prayed like never before for a few intense seconds and opened his eyes. Ta da, she wasn't online. 'Did she go offline because I came online?' 'Was it just a bloody accident?' He went invisible again, went to grab a glass of water and came back to find her online again. He mustered up his courage again and went online. Zap, she went offline again. He was sure now. He didn't want to disturb her if she didn't want to talk to him. He signed out and decided to feign a breakup after a brief crying session in the bathroom.

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Another chat window in gtalk, not very far away...

G: Hey Alisha
A: Hi G... How are you, girl... Wassup?
G: Ya good. So, temme, did ya find that Aamir guy from college? Know where he is?
A: No... I have his old email id, though. I am drafting a mail at the moment. Temme some nice words to make that idiot reply. And don't mind if I keep going offline. The power's freaking unstable here.
G: Ok ok.. Put in yar heart and type out a mail. Include yar phone number too. All the best dear! btw, he was kinda cute, wasn't he? :)
A: :)
A: Shut up.
Sent at 11:01 AM on Saturday
A: Oh, this is so embarrassing, G! He might not even remember me... and I'm gonna talk about love and all that. :( Sheesh. Am scared.
G: Awww, come on dear.
A: I think he won't remember me. :(
G: Just send it, Alisha... He sure will... Arjun told me he was nuts about ya back then.
A: What if he has a girlfriend now? :(
G: Who? That guy? Gimme a break! Send it before I come over and do it for ya.
A: I know!

Sent at 11:41 AM on Saturday
A: Okay, here goes nothing!

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Like every other fairytale, Here's wishing Aamir and Alisha one great happily-ever-after life!


PS:
Happy St.Valentine's day to everybody!

Those of you like Aamir, say it to the girl, NOW.

For those like me who still wonder when things will happen, or worse, 'if' anything will happen at all, keep a hand on your heart and All iz well bolo, All izz well.

Nothing in particular

Scene 1.

It was a December night. The train started moving. I was on my way to Chennai from Bangalore. Got an Upper berth. Six of the remaining seven seats in the box were reserved by octogenarians and the seventh (middle berth) was empty. The list said that it would be a thirty year old man who'd get in at the next station. The old man who got the other upper berth didn't know what to do. None of the others could climb all the way up and people in nearby boxes had turned down his request of exchanging seats.

It took a few minutes to reach the next station and the much looked-forward to 30 yr old got in. He had one look at the old man, the empty upper berth and started shaking his head, "No no no no" and told the old man that booking the upper berth was not his concern in Kannada. Thatha (that's how we call very old people in Thamizh. means 'Grandpa') was thamizh but he guessed the content though. Thatha didn't push his request much because the guy looked dead tired.

The corresponding paati (grandma) was in lower berth and she asked him, "Enna naa solraan?" but he had no need to reply. The guy set up his berth and jumped on to it and switched the iPod on, clearly telling them he doesn't want to be disturbed. The thatha whispered something to paati and waged a battle with the holding rod to get to the upper berth. Slowly, but surely, he made it (though he needed a glass of water immediately).


Scene 2.

I had slept through that day and hence found it difficult to sleep. It must have been sometime over midnight. A guy walked into our cabin, checked his ticket with light from his mobile and woke the guy in the middle berth. 'Yeh tho mera seat hai...' he said.

The guy got confused. 'Arre what? The TTE has already checked. I've booked this till Chennai'. The new guy said, 'No sir. Yeh tho mera berth hai. See? S3, seat 5.' The middle berth madhavan didn't have much patience. 'Please. This is the only chance I've had to sleep in three days. Go check with the TTE. I've also got S3 seat 5 only.' The new guy was unfazed. 'Par yeh tho mera seat hai sir. I also have to sleep na? You're travelling in my ticket and are not even listening to me?', and he switched on the light. Finally, this guy looked into the ticket and said, 'Guru... This is yesterday's ticket.' The new guy was still for a couple of seconds, looked at his ticket once and said, '@#$% !' After saying sorry to the middle berth guy, he left.


Scene 3.

Must have been around four o clock in the morning. There was some external noise in my dreams. I realized I was dreaming and got up to see the thaatha halfway between the upper berth and the floor wondering where his next step should be. Before I realized what was happening, his feet slipped and almost fell. His hand was firmly on the holder so he was literally hanging there.He let go of his hand after a couple of seconds and managed to stand on the floor. I was sitting up by now, and he motioned a 'sorry for the noise' gesture. His face said he hurt something somewhere but he just walked towards the restroom.
I was sure he pulled some muscle somewhere, so was waiting for him to come back in case he needed help. He came back soon and knew that the Upper berth had won the war. He wasn't going up there again!

He woke the 30 year old and requested him to go up again. He gave that 'wtf' look and said, 'Your Chennai's just one hour away!.' 'I seem to have hurt myself coming down, sir. please, if you don't mind...', thatha said. The guy didn't know what to do and reluctantly picked up his bag and moved to the upper berth. The thatha happily slept in the middle berth covering himself from head to toe.


Scene 4.

5 10 AM. Chennai Central. It was still pretty much dark with only the mild yellow lights on.

The paati was up and packed. I was getting down from my berth when the paati was looking at the other upper berth nudging the 30 yr old with a stick, saying, 'Yen na, station vandudthu... Ezhundrungo...' The guy got up and looked around.  I could see tears welling up in his near bright-red eyes as he sat upright and said, 'Please amma, Nange malgokke bidi. Pleasssee.' [Let me sleep. Please.]

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PS: Not entirely true. - 'I' isn't me here. Not entirely my own - a partially true story
Special thanks to Vibha for the kannada translation :)

College - oru Comedy - Episode 3 - Sikkitaan Suresh

Warning: Start from Episode 1

'Present Sir', 'Present Sir' andha kural reverberate agitu irundudu. Apapo dok dok nu eveno drum adikara sattham. BGM ivalo kevalama iruke nu nenachte irukum bodhu elunden. Kanavu. Oru 'present sir' la kavunditiye da Siva nu time pathen.

8 PM. Class mudinju room ku vandhu thoonginavan thaan. Kadhava evano thatraane nu elundu thoranden. Ramesh thaan. Thirumba poyi paduthen.

Ramesh oru aaru second wait panirupaan. 'Dei, enna achu nu keka matiya?'

'Kanavu nalaa irundudu. Continue pananum...'

'Machan, Saranya oda veliya ponen da.'

Kanavellam kalanju poachu.

'Dei!! Enna da solra? Iniku thaane da paatha?!'

'Adu apdi thaan da. ava edho day scholar aam, ondipudur la veedu. hope college nu oru edam poyi thaan bus eranumaam. apdiye kooda bus stop varaikm poitu vanden.'

'Bag thookitu poniyaa? cha, naanum enamo nu nenachten.'

'enna da kevala paduthita. veliya apdie elam soli vekaadha. nalaiku lunch extra eduthutu varenu solirkaa.'

'bag thooka ponavana vera epdi solradaam?'

'ava endha lunch enaku kuduthalum one-third unaku.'

Nee thaan da deivam.

'anga edavadu coffee shop pathiya?'

'Aama da. Tea stall.'

'Cha.'

'Oru bakery pathen da. Banumathi bakery.'

'Urupadiya edavadu solu.'

Romantic nu nenachu panni kutti madhri look vitute sonaan, 'Therialaye. naan avala thaan da pathen.'

'Hmmm. College edhirave oru periya hotel iruke, adhuku thaane pona?'

'Ilaye...'

'Nee pona Ramesh.'

(realising ) 'I am the likings this. Adu per enna da?'

'Andha day scholar ponna nalaiku ketuka.'

'Right' *ceiling ah paathute thalaye aatikittu mind la 'nam thana nam thana' *

'Aprom, inniku class la ece period irundudu la...'

Ramesh anda imagination lendu shock aagi veliya vandaan. 'nee thoongitu ila irundha? unaku epdi da theriyum? thoongara madri nadichtu class gavanichiya?'

'Ada cha. Un butthi enga poga pogudu. Edho ece nu kanavu nadula match eh aagama ketuchu. Seri, apo "present sir" nu oru ponnu azhaga sonaa da. Yaar nu pathiya?'

'Onnu solavaa? Class la irubathu ponnunga irundaanga. Elarum present sir thaan sonanga. Yaar azhaga sonanga, yaaru aalapanaiyoda sonanga nu elam naan gavanikala... Thookathulayum vidaama ipdi ponungala pathiye nenaikara rendu room mate da enaku. Cha. '

'Kandupidikaren.' nu naan enakulaye mind voice la solikiten.

Ramesh sutthi pathutu, 'Indha Suresh paya thaan double bed la first floor venum, first floor venumnu kadiya potu vaanginaan la. endha ^#%$*> ku  keela bag vechaan?'

'Naan thaan da anga vechen. sorry da. Yen dhaan bed bed nu adichikaringalo? Enga paduthaa enna?'

'Adha vidu. Nee anga vecha na avanuku enga poachu arivu?'

'Avan thaan varave ilaye.'

'Dei. Anju maniku ponaan da Senior ah paaka... Time ippo ettu!!!'

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Kadhava thorandu Baggy ulla vandaan. 'Dei, Suresh enga? Inga thaane irukaan?'

'Ilaye da. avan senior ah paka ponaan 5 maniku' nu Ramesh sonaan.

'Yen, enna aachu?' nu keten.

'Avane thaan da, avane thaan!! Namma hostel maadi lendu paathaa Second year hostel maadi theryum. Anga evanayo round katti otitu irukanga nu oru gumbala mela koodi pathutu irundom. Thoorathulendu paaka ivana madriye irunduchu...'

Suresh kaalai la sona dialog enakkum Ramesh kum at a time mind la odichu. 'Evening sikkinaa overnight thaan di...'


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Go to Episode 4 Part 1